THE SCIENCE OF LOVE
-Kendra Rodgers

THE SCIENCE OF LOVE

Valentine's Day is a day dedicated to the expression of love and affection. Stores stock up on heart-shaped boxes filled with little chocolates, and there are mountains of stuffed bears and my personal favorite candy, conversation hearts.

Valentine's Day is statistically the second most popular day for wedding proposals, but by far the most common gesture on Valentine's Day is gifting the most romantic flowers.  “Approximately 250 million roses were sold in the United States in the lead up to and on valentines day”(Anika Rao). Roses are commonly identified as a universal symbol for love and passion.

But while taking a deeper dive into not only Valentine’s Day but also love, I asked myself, “What makes you fall in love with someone?” “What makes people do crazy things in the name of love?” If I were to ask a random married couple, one of them might say, “ His smile.” Or “Her laugh.”  But realistically, the truth behind love is way more complex. It is the perfect concoction of chemicals, hormones, and several philosophical reasons.

The Neuroscience Institute talks in-depth about the key parts chemicals play, specifically dopamine (“feel good”), a neurotransmitter. When experiencing a positive or deep connection, dopamine gives the brain a euphoric effect similar to the effects of a drug. So I guess Ke$ha’s famous song "Your Love Is My Drug” is somewhat educational!

The other key component of neurochemical romance is oxytocin, “the bonding chemical” that spikes and releases during physical and or emotional intimacy. Lastly, serotonin, a neurotransmitter that regulates mood and emotions, is seen at the same level in people newly in love as those diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). This is why the early stages of love feel overwhelming and emotionally consuming. Serotonin is also a major factor in sustaining a long-term bond.

While scientific or psychological facts differ from philosophical reasonings, they are connected through mechanics (brain chemistry) and the why (philosophy) behind the brain's chemical and hormonal response. Don Byrne, an American social psychologist, developed the “Like attracts like” concept. So chances are those with the same interests, backgrounds, and traits are more likely to be attracted towards one another. Second, Penn State's Applied Social Psychology Blog proposes the mere exposure effect connected to the “proximity attraction” reasoning behind initial feelings/ bonds forming. It is the psychological tendency for individuals to form interpersonal relationships, friendships, or romantic bonds with those they encounter frequently or live/work near. The rationale behind proximity attraction is increased exposure, shared experiences or environments, and reduced effort between the pair due to little distance from one another, which creates a closer emotional bond.

In all, there are many explanations and reasoning on why we love and who we love, but the most important part of all is that we love. Arguably one of the best and most important feelings and experiences. So this valentines day, if you have a special someone, make sure to tell them you love them a little louder than usual. And if this year, you said, “ I just need to focus on myself right now.” Do exactly that—go get the biggest box of chocolates you can find and throw them at the TV while you have rom- coms playing back to back.